The long list of “I won’t”
Over my lifetime, I have compiled a long list of “I won’t”.
To name just a few:
I won’t move back to Muncie.
I won’t gain the weight back.
I won’t get a dog over 50 pounds.
I won’t get a dog that sheds.
I won’t have a 100% commissioned paycheck career.
I won’t EVER wear skinny jeans. Or flat-soled shoes.
I won’t EVER EVER EVER eat sushi.
and of course, you saw this one coming,
I won’t blog.
So what happened?! Well, I married a Muncie guy, moved back, had two kids, gained the weight back, and got a big hairy golden retriever! I took a commissioned sales job with a fashion company which eventually convinced me to give skinny jeans and ballet flats a whirl. I still haven’t eaten sushi though.
Of course I had very good reasons for all of these “I won’t” declarations…and maybe we can talk about those later. But the vow to not blog is really weird…even to me. I love to read other people’s blogs. I love to write. It’s therapeutic and my learning style of choice. I have always known that if I want to process an experience or learn something in a deep way, I have to write about it. So why the fear? Why the vow to stay clear?
Sometimes the very things we work to keep at a distance are exactly what we are supposed to embrace. God has a very consistent way of doing this in my life. Just about the time I’ve conquered an “I won’t” He brings it home on Christmas eve with a bow on its collar.
I’ve kept a long list of reasons why I can’t blog for the past two years. (I’m too busy. No one will read it. Who really cares? I should clean my bathtub instead. blah blah blah…) The point here isn’t explaining why and how I got past all that. What I’ve learned (again) is that if GOD has planted a seed inside a person, He will see it to fruition. In His time. He may not tell us why we are supposed to drop the excuses and do it, but He will always provide the way.
Are there seeds planted deep inside you that you’ve vowed to ignore a while longer? A seed to create? or explore? or learn? or help? or change the world? Take a look at what you’ve declared a ‘NO’ to see if it is time to be a ‘NOW’.
I would love to know what has been on your “I won’t” list that you feel God may be asking you to turn into an “I will”. Leave a comment with your thoughts. It’s more fun that way.
I’m sure my own list of “I won’t” will continue to surprise me.
Except the part about sushi!